Saturdays

Wow...It has been way too long since I posted here. I have lots of updates, and hopefully I'll have time to go back a little...now that Gemma has started kindergarten!

It's really weird to not have her here. It's really weird to not have anyone here during the day. For more than 10 years, I've had at least one child here with me during the day. Now, there are none.

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty to do to keep busy, and 2:30 comes pretty quickly, but it's still very quiet around the house.

It used to be that I would have to start getting ready to leave the house an hour before we had to leave. "Get dressed." "Have a snack." "Get your shoes on." "Get in the van." Now, all I have to do is get myself ready and walk out the door. It makes it so much easier to get errands done during the day to not have kids with me, but I do miss the sweet way my kids say "hi" to random people in the stores, and the attention they always got.

Saturdays used to be my day. Jason was home and I could leave to run errands for several hours. This was a nice, quiet time for me. It helped me refresh for the next week. Now, I can get that stuff done during the week, so Saturdays are becoming family time. I want to spend time with the kids. Watch movies. Snuggle.

My life has changed more in the past month than it had for ten and a half years when Kyran and Karyssa were born.

I'm still a mom, and I know that's my most important job, but now I can focus more on my real job and my volunteer roles. Someone else is listening to Gemma's stories during the day. Part of my most important role is now in someone else's hands.

I shouldn't feel like this is new, because I've been through it before. I sobbed when Kyran and Karyssa went to school for the first time for the same reason. But I had a 2-month-old at home. She kept me supplied with smiles and cuddles and I loved watching her grow to be the amazing child she is.

This blessing of being a mom sometimes takes a little shaking to remember. Well, I'm shaken, and I'm loving it.