Before I get into the good stuff, I want to acknowledge one major effect this virus has had on our household. While my big kids are not high school seniors, they are elementary school seniors and the announcement that schools will not reopen this year has been a big one.
Possibly even more for me than for them.
Every year on the last day of school, I have watched them walk out with bittersweetness. Kyran is usually in tears and Karyssa is usually smiling from ear to ear. I love having them home during the summers, but each year has been one closer to what this year was supposed to be. The day they walked out of their school for the final time as students. I've seen it in my head. Their tears, their smiles, the hugs for their teachers and friends. My tears, my smiles as I remember how blessed they were to attend such an amazing school with such wonderful teachers and friends, but also as I weep a little for how quickly the past six years went.
I could see Karyssa walking out, holding hands with Hannah...possibly for the last time, since that might not be the "coolest" thing to do in middle school. I could see Kyran with his arm around me, leaning into me to hide the tears, also possibly for the last time around his friends. I could see us getting in the car, and me taking just a little more time than usual to drive away, trying to hold on to my elementary school babies just a little longer.
That part hasn't quite hit them yet. They are sad because there will be no 5th grade talent show this year. They had been working on their ideas and acts for quite a while. There will be no final field day. There will be no final goodbye to their friends who will be at other schools next year.
For them, I think the hardest part is that there will be no Neon Dance. From the first week of school, the talk of the dance and dates began. I quickly informed my kids that they would not be going with dates, but when all of their friends paired up, and they told me the sweet friends they wanted to ask to go with them, I caved. So, they were to have their first friend dates at their first co-ed dance. This has been a long-standing tradition at their school, and the kids were looking forward to dressing up in their neon clothes and dancing under black lights as they had one last fun event at their elementary school.
There will be no promotion ceremony. While I'm not the biggest supporter of putting preschool kids in caps and gowns, I do feel that recognizing 5th and 8th graders for their accomplishments is important for them. I've never actually been to a 5th grade promotion ceremony (they didn't have them when I was in school), but I can imagine the pride that both students and parents feel. For me, it's not even about the academics. It's more about the people they have become. The friends they have become. The ways they have developed and grown that grades will never show.
One other important part for me, (I'm not sure if it would have been recognized at promotion or not), is the fact that my kids never missed one day of elementary school. Kyran got the flu twice, even after the flu shot, but it was during winter break in kindergarten and 5th grade and each time only lasted two days. Karyssa got a stomach bug during winter break in kindergarten as well. They have had colds, but only a few fevers. Twice Karyssa came home on a Friday afternoon with a 100 degree fever, but it was gone by the next day.
This is important to me because we were told our 29-week preemies would be sick A LOT. That Kyran would have chronic lung disease and that a regular cold might send them both to the hospital. While both Jason and I have strong immune systems, this is not an immunity thing. This is a God thing. Only He could have given them what they needed to fight the many, many germs they were exposed to during the past six years. Their perfect attendance serves as a huge reminder to me that He was there for them as babies, and that He has never left their sides.
So, while I know it was the safest and truly only decision our governor could have made, I'm still mourning a little. I'm sad for my kids and I'm sad for me.
Maybe we'll try to put on a Zoom talent show. Maybe we'll dress them up and post "graduation" photos. Maybe we'll put them in neon clothes and take pictures with a black light. Maybe we'll have a field day in our own yard. Maybe we won't. And maybe that's ok. Because maybe these aren't the important things that they'll remember in 20 years. Maybe they'll remember that they loved elementary school. Maybe they'll remember that they ended their elementary school years in the most unusual times of their lives. Maybe they'll remember the eLearning packets and Zoom calls.
But they'll definitely remember working in the new family room together every day.
Helping each other with work.
Giggling together.
Growing closer.
Spending time with family.
Learning what's truly important in life.
And maybe that's more important than anything they'll ever learn in school.
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