35 weeks!

It's hard to believe I'm 35 weeks pregnant. My feet are swollen, my back hurts, and I have to go to the bathroom every hour (including at night), and I am loving every second of it.

I love feeling her movements. She doesn't have as much room to move anymore, but can still take my breath away, literally and figuratively.

At most, I will be holding my sweet girl in my arms three weeks from today.

I have gained 45 pounds at this point. My cerclage is still in place and holding strong. I still have some extra fluid, but there's nothing we can do about that. They just want me to be very cognizant of her movements. My blood pressure is slightly elevated, but they don't seem concerned about that at all.

At 34 weeks and 6 days, they estimated her at 6 lb, 6 oz! She is on track to be an 8-8.5 lb baby! Jason was a 10.5 lb baby, so I'm blaming it on him! I won't even know what to do with such a giant for a newborn.

I'm also having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that we don't have two months to get everything ready for her to come home. God willing, three days after she is born, we will leave the hospital and arrive home together. I probably won't see her with tubes, see the inside of her brain on a scan or hear terms that scare me to my core.

That doesn't mean I won't worry about her.

From the time I knew about her, I've worried about her. And until the day I die, I will never stop. I know that she is in God's hands, and that He will take care of her according to his plans, but I think he places a "worry" instinct in moms so that we pay attention and strive to do the best for our children at all times.

I can't believe that in three weeks (if I make it), I will have a baby with me in my room. That three days later, she will come home and our house will be home to a tiny person with lots of big equipment. That Kyran and Karyssa will be able to experience being a big brother and big sister.

We are so excited, and so in love with our sweet girl already!