Siblings

It is no secret that my older brother and I don't get along.  There was once a time when we were good friends, but that ended many years ago.  I love him, and I know he'd give me a kidney if I ever need one, but aside from that, there isn't much there anymore.  I'm very sad that he and his wife are divorcing, because she was the link that helped hold us together.  I feel like I may have lost him forever. 

My younger brother, I believe, would die for me.  We are two very different people, but our hearts are the same.  We don't see each other as much as we would like, but our kids are very close and love each other very much.  He took care of my kids during my one sick day as a mom.  I know that Ben will always be there for me if I need him.

My sister lives in Chicago, so I rarely get to see her.  We don't talk as much as we used to, but even after a couple of months, we can pick up like we just talked the day before.  We've certainly had our ups and downs, like all sisters do, but I know if I need her at 4 a.m., she will be there.  In some ways we are just alike, but in other ways, we are very different.  Although our children don't see each other often, my kids recognize hers in pictures and talk about them all of the time. 

It amazes me that four children, raised under the same roof by the same people, can turn out so differently.  That two people who have been through so much with each other don't speak anymore (this is not for my lack of trying).  That beliefs, values, child-raising theories and childhood memories can vary so greatly.  We are all good people, with good intentions, but I think it's easy to forget how much we really share.

All of this, of course, makes me wonder how Kyran and Karyssa will interact when they're older.  They already show many similarities and differences.  My parents are very different people, but Jason and I are very much alike.  Does this mean that our children will grow to be more alike as well?  Will they strive so hard for their own individuality that they end up vastly different from each other?  Will they be close?  Will they be best friends?  Will they speak to each other? 

I know, by watching my children, that there is truth to nature vs. nurture.  I think there are traits and talents that develop in people based on what God has planned for them, regardless of their upbringing.  But I also believe that, in large part, Jason and I are responsible for what they do with those traits and talents. We are responsible for how they regard each other and us.  I pray that we can raise kids who, although different, will love each other and long to spend time together as they get older, especially as they raise families of their own. 

Here are some pictures of my family.  If you look closely, you can see a lot of our own children in us as we grow up!  (Please don't ask what we're wearing in most of these pictures.  Remember, we were children of the '80s!)

Being silly at the Bronx Zoo

At Riverbanks Zoo

At Disney

At Sea World

My high school graduation

The day before I moved to California

 

Christmas 2003