One main difference between the days was that I now know how the story ends (or at least how it is ending). I knew that a plane had hit the Pentagon. I knew that the buildings would collapse. I knew about the heroic actions of the passengers on United 93. I knew that, with a death toll that could have been in the tens of thousands, 2996 people died (2996 too many, but much less than originally feared). I knew that one day, the man responsible for all of it would be dead, at the hands of our soldiers.
It didn't make it any easier to watch.
The second difference is that I couldn't sit on my couch, crying and immobile as I had that day, because I had two people who needed me. It really made me think about those who had small children on that day. Or older children, who knew something was going on and needed an explanation. I have definitely had my share of challenges as a mother, but I believe that must have been one of the hardest for those parents, and my respect and admiration goes out to them.
In 2001, we had tickets to Fenway Park to watch the Red Sox and Tigers play on September 21. We fought the fear of another attack and made the trip to Boston. We drove past the Pentagon with the American flag draped over its side. We drove into New Jersey, and sat on a pier, looking at the quick memorials that had been put up and watching the smoke rising from Ground Zero, nine days after. We drove to Boston, stood up during the 7th inning stretch and sang "New York, New York". (If you're into baseball at all, you know the significance of that.)
Eight years ago, soon after Jason and I met, we went to visit Tammy, who lived in NY at the time, and some of my family who also live there. We visited the Ground Zero site and it was certainly depressing. Just three years after the attacks and there had basically just been enough time to sift through all of the rubble and begin making plans for a memorial.
Two years ago, we visited NY again, but did not make it to the World Trade Center site.
This year, we decided we wanted to go back, and take the kids, and see the Freedom Tower and other buildings that are being built on the site. This is what we saw:
I know that not everyone, especially not some New York natives, are thrilled with this building, but I am just so happy to see something beautiful rising from this place, instead of the smoke that I saw 11 years ago.
I will never forget that day and the lives that were needlessly lost. Nor will I forget those that have been lost in the war that has been going on since. I can only pray for those left behind, that there is never such a great act of hatred displayed anywhere in the world, and that I can teach my children that love will win in the end.
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