Diabetes

A little over 18 months ago, I got some life-changing news.  I think I have been putting off blogging about it because I was in denial, or hoping it would go away, but the truth is I have, and will always have, diabetes. 

Twenty weeks into the pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  With the diet they had me on, I was losing weight, even though the babies were growing.  I have always suspected that had something to do with their early birth. 

When they were born, it went away and things seemed fine.  I did limit my carb and sugar intake, but still needed to eat a lot to keep my milk supply up.  After 16 months of nursing, the babies weaned themselves, and I started having a few symptoms.  I checked my sugar levels and, sure enough, they were high.  I went in last April for the test and it came back, very clearly, that I am diabetic. 

At first, I was labeled Type 2.  However, because I lost weight and cannot gain it back, there was some suspicion that I might be Type 1 or Type 1.5.  After testing a few months ago, it was confirmed that I am type 1.5.  Type 1.5 is adult-onset diabetes, meaning eventually, my body will completely stop producing insulin.  Currently, my diabetes is being controlled with oral medicine and diet, and I'm praying that I do not have to go on insulin again anytime soon, because I had horrible experiences with low blood sugars during my pregnancy. 

What I did not understand (and I think a lot of people don't) about diabetes, is that it's not just sugar that I have to stay away from.  Carbohydrates, when eaten without a lot of exercise, turn into sugar in the body.  So this means not only no cake, candy or chocolate, but also very limited amounts of potatoes, rice, cereal, pasta, pizza, bread and many other foods. 

Not only has this been life-changing for me, it has been life-changing for my family as well.  Our snacks are low-sugar and low-carb.  This is probably one of the main reasons that my children have still never had juice, and will not have soda for quite a while.  They do eat candy occasionally.  I use Smarties as potty-training treats.  They eat cake at birthday parties, and they love pizza.  I'm not going to rob my children of the "fun" of being children, but I do feed them with the thought in mind that they are predisposed to diabetes.  Anything I can do to prevent this from happening is worth it.

I am pretty strict with my diet.  Not quite as strict as when I was pregnant, but strict nonetheless.  Poor blood sugar management can lead to retinal bleeds, infections which can lead to amputations, kidney failure, high cholesterol, and many other things that I try not to think about. High and low blood sugar can both be fatal.  These things keep me motivated to manage my diabetes.  I want to be around for my children, and their children, and their children.   

By managing my sugars well, I am also putting myself at risk, though.  I have issues maintaining my weight, and not eating carbs certainly doesn't help. At my current weight, I am at high risk for osteoporosis and early menopause. I met with a nutritionist in June, who was able to help, but there are no real answers for balancing my diet and maintaining a healthy weight.


I hate taking medicine.  I don't take Advil for headaches.  I rarely take Nyquil.  I never dreamed I would need a pill case at 33 years old, but I'm now taking medicine twice a day, along with my vitamins, and I've found that I can't always remember if I've taken it. 

I do get angry sometimes.  Oftentimes that anger is directed toward Jason when he's eating something that I would love to eat, but can't.  Other times it's watching other people drink Dr. Pepper or eat more than one piece of pizza.  This time of year is especially difficult.  First the State Fair and all of the goodies, followed shortly by Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  All of this food that I can't eat!  I always feel guilty after getting angry, though.  I'm so blessed.  My health, for the most part, is good.  I have wonderful kids, an amazing husband, great parents and other family and some true friends. 

I may not, now or ever, understand the reason for this, but I think it might be to help me appreciate everything else a little more.  To help my kids grow up healthy.  To help other family members with their eating habits. To keep me from something far worse down the road.  I will continue to pray that it goes away, with full knowledge that it would take a complete miracle, but I will also continue to live my life and enjoy every second with my family.