Our Kids are Going to be in Trouble...

I used to think a wedding was a simple affair...boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. I know. I've just been through one. Not my own, my daughter's. Annie Banks-MacKenzie. That's her married name...MacKenzie. I'll be honest with you, when I bought this house 17 years ago it cost less than this blessed event in which Annie Banks became Annie Banks-MacKenzie. I'm told that one day I'll look back on all this with great affection. I hope so. You fathers will understand. You have a little girl, an adorable little girl who looks up to you and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine, how she used to love to sit on my lap and lean her head against my chest. She said I was her hero. Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theater. Next thing you know she's wearing eye shadow and high heels. From that moment on you're in a constant state of panic. You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys, the kind of guys who only want one thing, and you know exactly what that one thing is because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then she gets a little older, and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy, and you worry about her meeting the right guy. And that's the biggest fear of all because then you lose her. And before you know it you're sitting all alone in a big empty house wearing rice on your tux wondering what happened to your life. It was just 6 months ago that it happened here. Just six months ago that the storm broke. ~ Steve Martin (as George Banks in Father of the Bride)

I've mentioned before that the first time I heard the name Kieran was the actor who plays the younger brother in this movie.  I have always loved this movie.  At first, it was the dream of being the bride.  Then, it became the reality of being the bride.  I can't tell you how many times I watched this and cried while Jason and I were engaged.  But I watched this movie the other day, and it took on a whole new meaning...that of being the parent. 

I've known from the moment we found out we had a girl on the way, that Jason would be protective.  The first words out of his mouth were, "Well, at least we don't have to worry about boys talking about her in the locker room", in reference to the fact that she would have a twin brother.  He was always very protective of his sister, and this is his daughter.  He has put restrictions on the styles of clothes and bathing suits she can wear already. 

I told him that he can choose the age that Karyssa starts to date, but whatever the age, Kyran can't date until he's the same age.  There will (hopefully) not be any double standards in our house. 

What I didn't realize until recently is how protective I am of these children.  Of course, I was always protective when it came to infection control, and the things they hear or are exposed to.  But watching that movie the other day, I cried.  As a mom of a daughter who will one day grow up and most likely get married and have a family of her own.  I cried like a baby.  I also laughed, because I know that Jason will be exactly like Steve Martin's character in this movie. 

When we got married, Jason did not understand my attachment to my dad.  He didn't understand why I was sad to change my name.  He thought it was silly that my dad had to "give me away".  His views have all changed now.  His stance now is that her future husband can "share" her with us.  I think he would be thrilled if she decided to keep her last name.  I feel bad for the guy who breaks her heart, and maybe even worse for the one who finally wins it. 

I also had another experience the other day that showed me that Karyssa is not the only one in trouble.  The ring bearers from our wedding were three boys who I consider to be my nephews.  I've known them since the oldest was 3 and he will be 14 next week.  He now has his first girlfriend.  And I "stalked" her on Facebook.  I just had to see if she was good enough for my sweet John.  Kyran, I apologize in advance for my actions when you start dating.

I pray that we, as parents, will be as accepting to whomever our children choose as Jason's parents were to me and mine to Jason, but I now have much greater respect for that acceptance.