The Burkett Bundle

I've been thinking about writing this post for quite some time now, and I'm still not really sure what to say. Please bear with me, as a lot of these thoughts and feelings might not flow together as well as I'd like them to, and I may come across as a little bitter or selfish.

Two years ago today, Kyran and Karyssa's Grandma Burkett passed away. I'm convinced that Darlene was one of the most amazing people who has ever walked on this earth. For those who didn't know her, the proof lies in those whose lives she was so much a part of, her loving husband, Tom, and her incredible children, Jason and Tammy. But, oh, those who did know her, you were blessed. I was blessed. Just to be able to know her, even for just a few years, made me a better person.

Watching her go through what she did, as graciously as she did, taught me so much about who I want to be, and how far I need to go to get there. I know where she is now. I know that she is happy and no longer in pain. I know that one day, we will all be reunited, and it will just seem like a moment apart. But for now, I am still sad. I am sad for Tom, Jason and Tammy. I am sad for her mother, sisters and brother. I am sad for me. I am very sad for Kyran and Karyssa.

On this earth, there is so much that they will miss. They will never be held by her. She will never rock them to sleep. They will not be able to watch her and learn from her. They won't hear her sweet voice say their names. We were "my Tom", "my Jason", "my Tammy" and "our Talyse", and I long to hear her say "my Karyssa" and "my Kyran".

I hear horrible mother-in-law tales, and feel so torn. I pray for those who have bad relationships with their mother-in-law, and for those who receive unsolicited advice, and whose wishes aren't followed when the in-laws babysit, but I'm also just jealous that they have that person still involved in their children's lives. I can't imagine a grandmother not loving her grandchildren. I guess it happens, but I know how different it would be for us. She was the best mother-in-law a woman could ask for and she would have loved these babies more than anything aside from her husband and her Savior.

I am so thankful that so much of Darlene lives in Granddad Burkett, their daddy and their Aunt Tammy, and for the love they get from them and the rest of our family, but I don't know if this sadness will ever go away.

We love and miss you, Darlene, and will continue to live our lives by your example!