On December 21, 2005, my 23-year-old cousin, Travis, died, several days after a terrible car accident. He was in Germany, serving our country in the Army, and was on his way to the airport to come home for Christmas. We love you, Travis, and will see you again someday.
One year ago:
I woke up at 6:00 a.m. with the nurse in my room. Apparently, my contractions had started coming more quickly and I needed another shot of Procardia. Since I was up, I ordered my breakfast. When it arrived about an hour later, the nurse came back in and told me not to eat until after the doctor had examined me. Jason had just come in at that point, and we waited for the doctor together. The examination showed I was 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced. Because Kyran was still breach, that meant one thing...emergency c-section.
We called my parents and they came over immediately. Jason's dad was also on his way down and would be there in five or six hours. As scared as I had been during the last five weeks, an almost eerie calm came over me. We had another consult with the neonatologist and it was much more positive, although still very uncertain. This time we were talking about when, not if, they would come home.
While we were sitting in there, I asked to see the pictures of the most recent ultrasound and someone, I'm not sure who, noticed that on each baby there was a shadow that looked like a man's hand. I knew that was God's way of telling us that they were in His hands.
They wheeled me into the operating room and I was still very calm. From the beginning, I knew that the likelihood of a c-section was very strong. Both babies would have to be head down for a normal delivery, and even then Karyssa could have flipped after Kyran was delivered, making the need for a c-section anyway. Before the bed rest, I was worried about the c-section...the pain, recovery...everything. That morning, all I could think about was Karyssa and Kyran.
They sent Jason out of the room to do the epidural, and that, which had scared me so much, was nothing. So much so that when the first one didn't work enough, I didn't even mind that they had to do a second. I think that the "mag" helped it not hurt so much, and I was so numb during the second one that I didn't feel it at all. Then, Jason was back in the room and they went to work. Just a couple of minutes later at 11:17 a.m., Kyran Jason Burkett was born. I held my breath while I waited to hear that first cry. Although it was soft, he did cry, and so did I. Almost immediately, I heard the nurse say "11:18, no, make that 11:19", and I knew that Karyssa Josilyn Burkett had entered the world. Her first cry was also soft, but beautiful.
I wasn't able to see them until they wheeled them out of the room, both in plastic bags inside their isolettes. I saw Karyssa's beautiful face as they wheeled her by, and actually was able to touch Kyran's arm, although I couldn't see his face. Jason followed them to the NICU as they finished up with me and took me to recovery, where he was waiting with pictures and video when I woke up.
I learned that they were doing well and their APGAR scores had been pretty good. Kyran went from a 5 to a 9 in the first five minutes, and Karyssa from a 6 to an 8.
On the way from recovery to my room, they wheeled me into each baby's room, so that I could see and touch them. I have never seen anything so beautiful!
We called my parents and they came over immediately. Jason's dad was also on his way down and would be there in five or six hours. As scared as I had been during the last five weeks, an almost eerie calm came over me. We had another consult with the neonatologist and it was much more positive, although still very uncertain. This time we were talking about when, not if, they would come home.
While we were sitting in there, I asked to see the pictures of the most recent ultrasound and someone, I'm not sure who, noticed that on each baby there was a shadow that looked like a man's hand. I knew that was God's way of telling us that they were in His hands.
They wheeled me into the operating room and I was still very calm. From the beginning, I knew that the likelihood of a c-section was very strong. Both babies would have to be head down for a normal delivery, and even then Karyssa could have flipped after Kyran was delivered, making the need for a c-section anyway. Before the bed rest, I was worried about the c-section...the pain, recovery...everything. That morning, all I could think about was Karyssa and Kyran.
They sent Jason out of the room to do the epidural, and that, which had scared me so much, was nothing. So much so that when the first one didn't work enough, I didn't even mind that they had to do a second. I think that the "mag" helped it not hurt so much, and I was so numb during the second one that I didn't feel it at all. Then, Jason was back in the room and they went to work. Just a couple of minutes later at 11:17 a.m., Kyran Jason Burkett was born. I held my breath while I waited to hear that first cry. Although it was soft, he did cry, and so did I. Almost immediately, I heard the nurse say "11:18, no, make that 11:19", and I knew that Karyssa Josilyn Burkett had entered the world. Her first cry was also soft, but beautiful.
I wasn't able to see them until they wheeled them out of the room, both in plastic bags inside their isolettes. I saw Karyssa's beautiful face as they wheeled her by, and actually was able to touch Kyran's arm, although I couldn't see his face. Jason followed them to the NICU as they finished up with me and took me to recovery, where he was waiting with pictures and video when I woke up.
I learned that they were doing well and their APGAR scores had been pretty good. Kyran went from a 5 to a 9 in the first five minutes, and Karyssa from a 6 to an 8.
On the way from recovery to my room, they wheeled me into each baby's room, so that I could see and touch them. I have never seen anything so beautiful!
Today:
Not at first sight, but at first knowledge,
I loved you, oh, so much,
Your beauty I could feel inside,
Before I felt your touch.
The weeks went by so quickly,
When you were on your way,
To see and feel you move inside,
Would brighten any day.
Although you came too early,
You were perfect, and I knew,
That God would keep you in his hands,
And protect you as you grew.
Then came the day we took you home,
So happy, yet so scared,
You trusted me completely,
Though I felt unprepared.
As time went by, I realized,
God was still in control,
I was meant to be your mother,
And I gladly filled the role.
Your smiles and laughs, they lit the house,
And what personality,
I’ve watched you grow from a tiny being,
To this child I now see.
So on this day that you turn one,
I’ll celebrate the year,
Since you made your entrance to the world,
And filled my life with cheer.
I thank the Lord for all the time,
That we have had together,
And look forward to the years to come,
My heart, my life, forever.
I loved you, oh, so much,
Your beauty I could feel inside,
Before I felt your touch.
The weeks went by so quickly,
When you were on your way,
To see and feel you move inside,
Would brighten any day.
Although you came too early,
You were perfect, and I knew,
That God would keep you in his hands,
And protect you as you grew.
Then came the day we took you home,
So happy, yet so scared,
You trusted me completely,
Though I felt unprepared.
As time went by, I realized,
God was still in control,
I was meant to be your mother,
And I gladly filled the role.
Your smiles and laughs, they lit the house,
And what personality,
I’ve watched you grow from a tiny being,
To this child I now see.
So on this day that you turn one,
I’ll celebrate the year,
Since you made your entrance to the world,
And filled my life with cheer.
I thank the Lord for all the time,
That we have had together,
And look forward to the years to come,
My heart, my life, forever.
3 comments:
I can't see the key board very well through my tears but I wanted to put a comment anyway. I love you all so much!!! It's amazing how much they have grown! That poem is so sweet! You are both wonderful parents to Kyran and Karyssa and I "look forward to the years to come" also! Happy 1st birthday Karyssa and Kyran!
God Bless our little miracles and their parents!!!!
I have enjoyed reading the daily "one year ago" entries since I missed them last year. God has really blessed you with two beautiful children! I'm excited to see what God has planned for them in the coming year!
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your "year ago" posts. Thank you so much for sharing that time with all of us. Your post today literally gave me chills and tears in my eyes.
Happy Birthday, sweet babies, happy birthday!
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